Immediately thereafter, follow-on reactions, discombobulation, messages of support and congratulations, hullabaloo, shock, front-page hogwash and pure disappointment took over. Distraught and amused and amazed gasps. Binyavanga himself now launched into a frenzy of Facebook posts with homosexual themes, taunting Nigeria, Uganda, mourning homosexual dead, elevating gay positions etc. Eloquence gained. Platform appropriated. I will be wrong if I claimed that Binya has not previously been open about his defense of the gays. He has, only that this time round, with the attention of all nincompoops mustered, he was screwing them real deep. Good for him.
But then I also began, from that day to this, to receive pleas from simpletons to explain what the matter was or is with my friend. Did he just say he is gay? (Dude, go back to school if you can’t comprehend a writing?) Is it for real? (Girl, you wanna give him a shot so you believe?). Did you always know he was gay? (What change would it make if I didn’t know?). Gosh, I only thought he enjoyed plaiting and coloring his hair! (Well, he has more hairs I would guess!). So what’s your take on B Wainaina coming out? (I give no rat’s ass if he comes in or interrupts coitus gal!). And I get irritated. For most of these who posed these rhetorical queries to me have never, in the first place, ever ‘come out’! I don’t know if they are straight or gay! Or both. Hypocrites. Maybe they assume that I assume that they are heterosexual…but again, they would be the quickest to deny a heterosexual a shot if requested! So what are they? Mimi sijui! Shida zenu na Binyavanga msiniletee.
Interesting things have arisen since this creatively written ‘confession’ by The Binj. Take these empty-heads who have now come out to declare that they support him. How can you support Binya? Don’t you think he is much capable of supporting himself? What support does he need anyway? Others are congratulating him for bravery. What bravery is there for one to declare he is gay on a community that interacts daily with gays, and have not created an environment negative to their living? For let’s face it: Kenya is not a country where homophobia reigns. What reigns in Kenya is the curiosity, the imagination of penile-anal intercourse between man and man. Really! We do not care that men and women have anal sex. Do we? We are just curious how men make it, period. Don’t we even have a stock threat to enemies that, “nitakufira mkundu”? Don’t we all have these guys we know whom we ‘suspect’ are gay? Don’t we have girl-friends who confess their love for the salon service they get from this particular gay hairdresser who has queer dressing and talking code? Don’t we all laugh behind the backs of these infantile homosexual acquaintances who try to force their gayism, throwing masculine buttocks in desperate imitation of females, contorting sopranos, spotting red lipstick that make them look like black cats that have stolen pyramid quails? Do we not dabble in our own rumors over which of our politicians ‘huchapwa nyuma’ and which one is living a double life? Don’t we go to Nakumatt just to see gay condoms and adult nappies? See, we are accommodating. Only stupidly and idly curious. And should stop this hypocritical shock with Binya’s revelation.
Me, me I don’t mind ‘homos’. Which heterosexual man will mind that another man is a homosexual? Shit! It lowers competition for women, see! Right?
So live and let live! Of course Binyavanga has his reasons for ‘coming out’. Nigeria has just passed controversial laws on gay marriage, Uganda is grappling with how to state and package their national position on homosexuality while at the same time not lose donor monies and the West are busy forcing themselves into normalizing homosexuality. And therein lies where Binya ameona mbele. Binya has interests in Nigeria, and what better adventure being an activist for ‘gay rights’ at this hour, in this context, watched by this world? Binya has Ugando-Rwandese connections. What platform and opportunity then is this for a dude to redefine himself and take on the coming-out fad! For within that short week of his declaration, Binya has become the messianic homosexual hero of the silent gay. Homosexuals are happy that he and his influence are on their side. Good for him.
That then, as I rush to my conclusion, leads me to asking then, what is being gay? Is it a qualification like a degree that annoints one the privelege to be (or do all that appertains to being) stupid, weird, illogical, and irrational? Is being gay an ideology? A style? A briefcase political quest? What makes homosexuals think we are so daft that they can shout the impossible from the rooftops, like Binyavanga allegedly realizing he is a homosexual at age 5? Age 5! Fuck, at age five you should have been busy getting diarrhea, practicing ABC, fearing injections and running after imaginary cars and crying over nothing: not being sexual! Homosexual. What makes this community of homosexuals believe that they have a unique right above other humans and that they should be kid-gloved and treated with a certain artificial acceptance? What makes them consider it heroism to come out! Can’t they just fuck and shut the fuck up and show up in the office the next day kujenga taifa? Are gays so clueless, so empty in creativity, so idle that they should spend their days thrusting ill-fitting clad in the name of free expression, choke us with deathly-applied deodorant and walk as if their orgy of ass-fucking is about to burst on their fronts? Even women who have anal sex don’t go shouting about it, do they? What is this sex war between heterosexuals (I hesitate to believe they are ‘straight)’ and homosexuals?
So fuck, I am heterosexual and it is no deal at all. Let me be and let the homosexual be and if we get some STI or some such shit, lets seek competent medical attention haraka. We’ve all got some living to do.
Word on the Streets!
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